that which doesn't kill me...

...will prolly try again.

this has been one of the crappiest weeks ever.
give all my shit to my friends and tell them not to fight over anything lol.

thoughts of big cats...

yeahhhhhhh...my song of choice is definitely 'for the longest time' by billy joel right now.

i haven't felt this wonderful, this good, this close to meaning something to someone in a while.
and i could definitely get used to this.

and i might let him read this.
lions are adventurous creatures, why the hell not?? =]




HI TIGER!!!!!
<3333333333

i'm not wrong, to want more than a folk song.

i've been making a lot of drastic changes lately.
all for the best...i'm hoping.

i haven't updated SHRAPNEL CONFETTI in almost a month. i really need to do that. i think i left off somewhere in the 80's, i'm not sure. i might go over 100 anyways so i guess it really doesn't even matter much.

business is good. i have shoots with a mans all, bleed the arsonist, and (tentatively) ladies of metal coming up soon. i'm also going to be doing portfolio work for giavanna gustino. exciting stuff. my third issue with scene trash magazine is coming out shortly, and that's cool as hell. it's my kill hannah interview. i'm also continuing on a segment of the magazine called SIGNIFICANT OTHERS, where i interview people of interest. my interest. i'm diggin' this.

i'm thinking i'm going to be needing to visit ash in NY more often also...the city's always captivated me, and i don't get to see her as much as i'd like to and that sucks.

i have a shitload of pictures i've taken in the last few months that i haven't even uploaded yet. and i haven't been on my deviantART in ages.

what the fuck have i been doing with my life??
=/

WHOSE FUCKING IDEA WAS THIS?!!!

what: strip aerobics.
why: no fucking clue...

what brooke hogan does on television is her business.
i cannot believe you suggested we try that, jesus tapdancing christ.

THE LAST DAMN THING I NEED IS TO GO FOR A SPIN ON A POLE, FALL FACE FIRST, AND BREAK MY TEETH ON THE FLOOR BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING UPPER BODY STRENGTH.

are you trying to kill me??
cos i'm beginning to think you are.

grow up, back off. (i'm about to sound like a cocky douchebag, word.)

nearly 7 years later, and you're still the same sorry piece of shit.

LIVE YOUR LIFE.
stop obsessing over mine.

since you met me, you've wanted everything i have.up until recently, it wasn't much. but now you realize that being an asshole has held you back considerably. jealousy is an ugly colour on you.how can you expect to get where you want to go without actually working for it?? what the fuck do you even do?? it's a genuine question. because i'm curious as to how you think you're so much better than anyone else on any given day because of what you ASSUME to have over them.

YOU WANT WHAT I HAVE?!
i dare you to come try and take it from me.

and while you're fixing your face and taking your courage pills, i'll tell you all the things you lack as a human being.
personality, a personable nature, friendliness, and nice communication skills. you're full of yourself, and full of shit.

and someone had to say so.

don't break any bones when you topple off that shiny pedastal you made for yourself once when no one was looking. the one you built hoping no one would be able to see past it to who you really are.

because i remember who you really are.
and i doubt anyone would care as much as i did, back when i was trying to help you become a better person.

maybe i failed you. maybe you failed me.
maybe we failed ourselves. it doesn't matter.
because i learned something too.

i was ALWAYS better, because i know what respect is.
and i am doing just fine.
and if i were you, i'd prolly be jealous too.
i can live with it. ;]

and i'm sure that if you were nicer to people, and more of a goodhearted person, you'd be in my shoes right now and i'd still be who i was back then.
i seriously do not doubt that at all...i think if you were to stop acting like a greedy, selfish child, it would really help your position. learning respect and compassion wouldn't hurt, either.

i'm not saying i'm an angel. i just enjoy what i do, the people i meet and places i go while doing it, and the fact that it kills you.
i'm a person, not a saint.

applied modern health can s my d.

i think the lady who helped me pick my courses at my orientation fucked me over.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I NEED APPLIED MODERN HEALTH FOR?!
apparently when i told her i was not athletic, had been medically exempt from all school-related physical activity for the last 5 years, and was uninterested in running, jogging, badminton, and/or swimming, she heard I AM ATHLETIC, I LOVE SPORTS, PLEASE SIGN ME UP FOR THIS BULLSHIT COLLEGE COURSE.

i can say with absolute conviction that i am dropping that course like acid at a swingers' party. i'll take contemporary health next semester and call it even.
it just sucks that i'll only be refunded 50% of what i paid to take the course. but it wiiill save me gas money and the hellish trip up to campus on wednesdays, and lessen my workload. which is really what i need, since i've been so damn stressed as of late.

nonetheless, my father will prolly be very annoyed with me and my poor, poor 18-year-old judgement skills.

but i really don't need to know how to play tennis and floor hockey to be a journalist/photojournalist. i just need to know my letters, and how to put them together in complex ways to convey a point of view.

so far, i haven't botched that too greatly.
i think i'll live.

DECAY DECAY DECAY -

been listening to the same song on repeat for the last three days, and wondering how it would sound live. the teeth collector, by pretty girls make graves. it's off the new romance, and sounds nothing like any of the other tracks. i love it.

in other news, there is no other news, and i'm trying to up my post count so i don't forget about this site like i did with my xangas and livejournal. i almost forgot about my band reports. i should do that right now.

justin left for college early this morning.
thought i'd mention that.