...will prolly try again.
this has been one of the crappiest weeks ever.
give all my shit to my friends and tell them not to fight over anything lol.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
thoughts of big cats...
yeahhhhhhh...my song of choice is definitely 'for the longest time' by billy joel right now.
i haven't felt this wonderful, this good, this close to meaning something to someone in a while.
and i could definitely get used to this.
and i might let him read this.
lions are adventurous creatures, why the hell not?? =]
HI TIGER!!!!!
<3333333333
i haven't felt this wonderful, this good, this close to meaning something to someone in a while.
and i could definitely get used to this.
and i might let him read this.
lions are adventurous creatures, why the hell not?? =]
HI TIGER!!!!!
<3333333333
Monday, September 29, 2008
i'm not wrong, to want more than a folk song.
i've been making a lot of drastic changes lately.
all for the best...i'm hoping.
i haven't updated SHRAPNEL CONFETTI in almost a month. i really need to do that. i think i left off somewhere in the 80's, i'm not sure. i might go over 100 anyways so i guess it really doesn't even matter much.
business is good. i have shoots with a mans all, bleed the arsonist, and (tentatively) ladies of metal coming up soon. i'm also going to be doing portfolio work for giavanna gustino. exciting stuff. my third issue with scene trash magazine is coming out shortly, and that's cool as hell. it's my kill hannah interview. i'm also continuing on a segment of the magazine called SIGNIFICANT OTHERS, where i interview people of interest. my interest. i'm diggin' this.
i'm thinking i'm going to be needing to visit ash in NY more often also...the city's always captivated me, and i don't get to see her as much as i'd like to and that sucks.
i have a shitload of pictures i've taken in the last few months that i haven't even uploaded yet. and i haven't been on my deviantART in ages.
what the fuck have i been doing with my life??
=/
all for the best...i'm hoping.
i haven't updated SHRAPNEL CONFETTI in almost a month. i really need to do that. i think i left off somewhere in the 80's, i'm not sure. i might go over 100 anyways so i guess it really doesn't even matter much.
business is good. i have shoots with a mans all, bleed the arsonist, and (tentatively) ladies of metal coming up soon. i'm also going to be doing portfolio work for giavanna gustino. exciting stuff. my third issue with scene trash magazine is coming out shortly, and that's cool as hell. it's my kill hannah interview. i'm also continuing on a segment of the magazine called SIGNIFICANT OTHERS, where i interview people of interest. my interest. i'm diggin' this.
i'm thinking i'm going to be needing to visit ash in NY more often also...the city's always captivated me, and i don't get to see her as much as i'd like to and that sucks.
i have a shitload of pictures i've taken in the last few months that i haven't even uploaded yet. and i haven't been on my deviantART in ages.
what the fuck have i been doing with my life??
=/
Friday, September 26, 2008
WHOSE FUCKING IDEA WAS THIS?!!!
what: strip aerobics.
why: no fucking clue...
what brooke hogan does on television is her business.
i cannot believe you suggested we try that, jesus tapdancing christ.
THE LAST DAMN THING I NEED IS TO GO FOR A SPIN ON A POLE, FALL FACE FIRST, AND BREAK MY TEETH ON THE FLOOR BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING UPPER BODY STRENGTH.
are you trying to kill me??
cos i'm beginning to think you are.
why: no fucking clue...
what brooke hogan does on television is her business.
i cannot believe you suggested we try that, jesus tapdancing christ.
THE LAST DAMN THING I NEED IS TO GO FOR A SPIN ON A POLE, FALL FACE FIRST, AND BREAK MY TEETH ON THE FLOOR BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING UPPER BODY STRENGTH.
are you trying to kill me??
cos i'm beginning to think you are.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
grow up, back off. (i'm about to sound like a cocky douchebag, word.)
nearly 7 years later, and you're still the same sorry piece of shit.
LIVE YOUR LIFE.
stop obsessing over mine.
since you met me, you've wanted everything i have.up until recently, it wasn't much. but now you realize that being an asshole has held you back considerably. jealousy is an ugly colour on you.how can you expect to get where you want to go without actually working for it?? what the fuck do you even do?? it's a genuine question. because i'm curious as to how you think you're so much better than anyone else on any given day because of what you ASSUME to have over them.
YOU WANT WHAT I HAVE?!
i dare you to come try and take it from me.
and while you're fixing your face and taking your courage pills, i'll tell you all the things you lack as a human being.
personality, a personable nature, friendliness, and nice communication skills. you're full of yourself, and full of shit.
and someone had to say so.
don't break any bones when you topple off that shiny pedastal you made for yourself once when no one was looking. the one you built hoping no one would be able to see past it to who you really are.
because i remember who you really are.
and i doubt anyone would care as much as i did, back when i was trying to help you become a better person.
maybe i failed you. maybe you failed me.
maybe we failed ourselves. it doesn't matter.
because i learned something too.
i was ALWAYS better, because i know what respect is.
and i am doing just fine.
and if i were you, i'd prolly be jealous too.
i can live with it. ;]
and i'm sure that if you were nicer to people, and more of a goodhearted person, you'd be in my shoes right now and i'd still be who i was back then.
i seriously do not doubt that at all...i think if you were to stop acting like a greedy, selfish child, it would really help your position. learning respect and compassion wouldn't hurt, either.
i'm not saying i'm an angel. i just enjoy what i do, the people i meet and places i go while doing it, and the fact that it kills you.
i'm a person, not a saint.
LIVE YOUR LIFE.
stop obsessing over mine.
since you met me, you've wanted everything i have.up until recently, it wasn't much. but now you realize that being an asshole has held you back considerably. jealousy is an ugly colour on you.how can you expect to get where you want to go without actually working for it?? what the fuck do you even do?? it's a genuine question. because i'm curious as to how you think you're so much better than anyone else on any given day because of what you ASSUME to have over them.
YOU WANT WHAT I HAVE?!
i dare you to come try and take it from me.
and while you're fixing your face and taking your courage pills, i'll tell you all the things you lack as a human being.
personality, a personable nature, friendliness, and nice communication skills. you're full of yourself, and full of shit.
and someone had to say so.
don't break any bones when you topple off that shiny pedastal you made for yourself once when no one was looking. the one you built hoping no one would be able to see past it to who you really are.
because i remember who you really are.
and i doubt anyone would care as much as i did, back when i was trying to help you become a better person.
maybe i failed you. maybe you failed me.
maybe we failed ourselves. it doesn't matter.
because i learned something too.
i was ALWAYS better, because i know what respect is.
and i am doing just fine.
and if i were you, i'd prolly be jealous too.
i can live with it. ;]
and i'm sure that if you were nicer to people, and more of a goodhearted person, you'd be in my shoes right now and i'd still be who i was back then.
i seriously do not doubt that at all...i think if you were to stop acting like a greedy, selfish child, it would really help your position. learning respect and compassion wouldn't hurt, either.
i'm not saying i'm an angel. i just enjoy what i do, the people i meet and places i go while doing it, and the fact that it kills you.
i'm a person, not a saint.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
applied modern health can s my d.
i think the lady who helped me pick my courses at my orientation fucked me over.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I NEED APPLIED MODERN HEALTH FOR?!
apparently when i told her i was not athletic, had been medically exempt from all school-related physical activity for the last 5 years, and was uninterested in running, jogging, badminton, and/or swimming, she heard I AM ATHLETIC, I LOVE SPORTS, PLEASE SIGN ME UP FOR THIS BULLSHIT COLLEGE COURSE.
i can say with absolute conviction that i am dropping that course like acid at a swingers' party. i'll take contemporary health next semester and call it even.
it just sucks that i'll only be refunded 50% of what i paid to take the course. but it wiiill save me gas money and the hellish trip up to campus on wednesdays, and lessen my workload. which is really what i need, since i've been so damn stressed as of late.
nonetheless, my father will prolly be very annoyed with me and my poor, poor 18-year-old judgement skills.
but i really don't need to know how to play tennis and floor hockey to be a journalist/photojournalist. i just need to know my letters, and how to put them together in complex ways to convey a point of view.
so far, i haven't botched that too greatly.
i think i'll live.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I NEED APPLIED MODERN HEALTH FOR?!
apparently when i told her i was not athletic, had been medically exempt from all school-related physical activity for the last 5 years, and was uninterested in running, jogging, badminton, and/or swimming, she heard I AM ATHLETIC, I LOVE SPORTS, PLEASE SIGN ME UP FOR THIS BULLSHIT COLLEGE COURSE.
i can say with absolute conviction that i am dropping that course like acid at a swingers' party. i'll take contemporary health next semester and call it even.
it just sucks that i'll only be refunded 50% of what i paid to take the course. but it wiiill save me gas money and the hellish trip up to campus on wednesdays, and lessen my workload. which is really what i need, since i've been so damn stressed as of late.
nonetheless, my father will prolly be very annoyed with me and my poor, poor 18-year-old judgement skills.
but i really don't need to know how to play tennis and floor hockey to be a journalist/photojournalist. i just need to know my letters, and how to put them together in complex ways to convey a point of view.
so far, i haven't botched that too greatly.
i think i'll live.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
DECAY DECAY DECAY -
been listening to the same song on repeat for the last three days, and wondering how it would sound live. the teeth collector, by pretty girls make graves. it's off the new romance, and sounds nothing like any of the other tracks. i love it.
in other news, there is no other news, and i'm trying to up my post count so i don't forget about this site like i did with my xangas and livejournal. i almost forgot about my band reports. i should do that right now.
justin left for college early this morning.
thought i'd mention that.
in other news, there is no other news, and i'm trying to up my post count so i don't forget about this site like i did with my xangas and livejournal. i almost forgot about my band reports. i should do that right now.
justin left for college early this morning.
thought i'd mention that.
Monday, August 25, 2008
mix diamonds into my ashes...
in the last few months or so i've been getting more and more messages and stuff via websites about how i am inspiring to people, how i've got a unique way with words, and how i make people feel better about being themselves by simply being MYself.
it's overwhelming.
suuuch a drastic change from being bullied and made fun of.
but then i look at it this way.
all the kids who use to pick on me have ruined their lives in some way or another, and me...
well, i finally have (almost, almost) everything i have been working so hard my whole life to achieve. oprah calls this empowerment.
it's like, these people, they think i'm special for some reason.
never once have i thought that. i'm just a person.
i just do things my way, a bit differently than 'normal.'
seriously. to acheive a dream you have to have two things: faith, and patience. faith in yourself, and patience for the rest of the world haha.
i don't care that i just sounded like a fortune cookie.
i'm trying to make a point, here.
i hope you all got it.
it's overwhelming.
suuuch a drastic change from being bullied and made fun of.
but then i look at it this way.
all the kids who use to pick on me have ruined their lives in some way or another, and me...
well, i finally have (almost, almost) everything i have been working so hard my whole life to achieve. oprah calls this empowerment.
it's like, these people, they think i'm special for some reason.
never once have i thought that. i'm just a person.
i just do things my way, a bit differently than 'normal.'
seriously. to acheive a dream you have to have two things: faith, and patience. faith in yourself, and patience for the rest of the world haha.
i don't care that i just sounded like a fortune cookie.
i'm trying to make a point, here.
i hope you all got it.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
STB 1: hope for the hopeless tour 2008
since everyone was wondering, and only ash has gotten the full story yet, i figured i'd keep blogs of my adventures in rockstarland and with scene trash magazine. go figure my first ever interview/photo job for a national act was for my all time favourite band. subscribe to keep updated!!
SCENE TRASH BLOG 1: HOPE FOR THE HOPELESS TOUR 2008
kill hannah, the medic droid, innerparty system, and white tie affair
(wednesday, august 13th 2008 @ the stone pony, asbury park nj)
my interview with kill hannah was slated for 5:00, but i got to asbury park an hour and a half early so i could hang out on the boardwalk. then christine (BEST BOSS EVER, i'd just like to point out...) calls me and gives me their tour manager's cell number, to call and let him know i'm there and ready whenever they want me. his name is rory, by the way, and he is a nice man.
so i call him up and let him know, and he tells me to come to the side of the pony over by where the busses are, because 'if we're going to do this, we have to do it right now.' so without checking for traffic i bolt across two lanes of road and meet him by the tour bus, and a line of very curious, glaring fans who are already lined up outside. AWKWARD. i shake his hand and we talk for a minute, and he tellls me the interview is with greg. which was wonderful, because he's usually so busy i only get to talk with him for five minutes or so at the merch table, where i'm all 'hey do you have this in a smaller size' and he's all 'nope, sorry.' suddenly greg's right behind me, i feel shorter than ever, and the eyes of the glaring fan girls from HELL are even bigger and fuller with hatred. he gives me a hug and we do the whole introductions bit, and then we enter through the side stage door and go out back to a teensie tiny alleyway behind the club. there's like, two plastic tables and some lawn chairs, and he pulls out a chair for me and we sit.
i tell him i've been listening to them for a looooong time; that i know who their influences are, and who hannah is, and that i tried to come up with some really unusual, thought-provoking questions. he laughs and says, 'awesome, thanks!! let's do this!!'
so i start my interview, and i'm recording everything on my phone, and i'm thankful i'm not a typically boring person because he seems to really be enjoying the questions when rory comes over and hands me something. at first i didn't look at it, because i was in chat-with-rockstar-bassist mode, but then i look down and it's my laminate for the photography. yay yay yay!! then i wrap up my interview, snap a few shots of him right there in the alley, and ask him one final favour: have the rest of the boys write down their answers to my FILL-IT-IN question. he agrees, takes my notebook, and we walk back out through the same door we went in. the line of fans has gotten longer, and when people notice the tiny girl with the big hair next to greg carrying a big ass camera and photo pass, it gets weird. 'WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE GET A PASS?! WHO IS THAT?! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHO THAT IS?! ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THAT IS?!' nah man, i'm nobody. please don't hurt me. haha. greg says good-bye and takes my notebook back on the bus, and i head back to the boardwalk, wishing i had eyes in the back of my head so i could fend off any potential attack. in complete and total honesty, i had never felt more intimidated in my life.
but while on the boardwalk, i run into dan, and kh's friend chris who does the filming for their tour video blogs and sleep never tv. i introduce myself, and chris zooms in on the laminate and starts screaming 'SHE'S WITH US!! SHE'S ONE OF US!!' i laugh and give him a thumbs up, and he asks if he can film me. why the fuck not. so he asks me, 'what does the boss mean to you??' well. i do this thing sometimes, where i speak without thinking, and said, 'bruce springsteen...isn't he shorter than i am??' chris and dan laughed so hard, and i was like ehhhhhhh, did you really film that?? he did. so i took dan's picture and mozied off for some food.
so i eat, then head back to the club because doors are opening in about half an hour. i make a point of walking up the entire line and heading in through the stage door, which really prolly wasn't a very good idea, considering everything, but what the hell haha. so i get in, i set up my shit, and wait. i get my merch early so they have my size and stuff, and then i meet some really nice people, who i'm staying in touch with for sure.
white tie affair comes on. they're good. innerparty system comes on. they're good too. the medic droid comes on. they're absolutely fantastic. then enters my friend the security guard...nicest one i've ever met. i ask him if i can get behind the barriers for kill hannah's set. he checks with the head guy, and he says i get the first three songs but then i have to back. so they do the intro, thennn three songs, and i'm out. but i can't get back to my spot next to me new friends in front of jonny, so i enlist the help of a larger boy, who drags me up front, directly in front of mat, my personal hero since 2002. it was a night i'll never forget. and when they played 'the chase,' mat brought the mic right down to me and we sang together during the slow part. it was wonderful. thank you.
after they play i go into the restricted zone and catch up with jonny, who waved me over and asked me how my interview went, and if i got any good pictures. we talked for a bit, i got a shot of him outside, then spoke to mat. i asked him if he liked my fill-it-in question and he said yes, and asked me if i read his answer yet. i said i hadn't. and he yelled at greg to not forget to give me back my notebook haha. i snapped a photo of him, then followed greg to the bus. dan and elias hadn't written in it yet, so he hunted dan down. it was a really nice thing for him to do, considering he was busy and i could have just as easily done it myself. then i caught an even busier elias for two minutes by the stage door.
it was a great night. i left with 600+ images on my camera, which i narrowed down to 300 or so, which i selected the best shots from and uploaded for everyone to check out.
the interview is going to be in our september issue. you should get yourself a copy when it comes out.
www.myspace.com/scenetrashpromotions
http://www.scenetrash.com/
http://www.killhannah.com/
www.myspace.com/killhannah
ALSO: for those who couldn't make it, here's the set list!!
intro
boys and girls
believer
love you to death
paper dolls
crazy angel
black poison blood
home
kennedy
songs that saved my life
the chase
acid rain
nerve gas
welcome to chicago, motherfucker
scream
lips like morphine
SCENE TRASH BLOG 1: HOPE FOR THE HOPELESS TOUR 2008
kill hannah, the medic droid, innerparty system, and white tie affair
(wednesday, august 13th 2008 @ the stone pony, asbury park nj)
my interview with kill hannah was slated for 5:00, but i got to asbury park an hour and a half early so i could hang out on the boardwalk. then christine (BEST BOSS EVER, i'd just like to point out...) calls me and gives me their tour manager's cell number, to call and let him know i'm there and ready whenever they want me. his name is rory, by the way, and he is a nice man.
so i call him up and let him know, and he tells me to come to the side of the pony over by where the busses are, because 'if we're going to do this, we have to do it right now.' so without checking for traffic i bolt across two lanes of road and meet him by the tour bus, and a line of very curious, glaring fans who are already lined up outside. AWKWARD. i shake his hand and we talk for a minute, and he tellls me the interview is with greg. which was wonderful, because he's usually so busy i only get to talk with him for five minutes or so at the merch table, where i'm all 'hey do you have this in a smaller size' and he's all 'nope, sorry.' suddenly greg's right behind me, i feel shorter than ever, and the eyes of the glaring fan girls from HELL are even bigger and fuller with hatred. he gives me a hug and we do the whole introductions bit, and then we enter through the side stage door and go out back to a teensie tiny alleyway behind the club. there's like, two plastic tables and some lawn chairs, and he pulls out a chair for me and we sit.
i tell him i've been listening to them for a looooong time; that i know who their influences are, and who hannah is, and that i tried to come up with some really unusual, thought-provoking questions. he laughs and says, 'awesome, thanks!! let's do this!!'
so i start my interview, and i'm recording everything on my phone, and i'm thankful i'm not a typically boring person because he seems to really be enjoying the questions when rory comes over and hands me something. at first i didn't look at it, because i was in chat-with-rockstar-bassist mode, but then i look down and it's my laminate for the photography. yay yay yay!! then i wrap up my interview, snap a few shots of him right there in the alley, and ask him one final favour: have the rest of the boys write down their answers to my FILL-IT-IN question. he agrees, takes my notebook, and we walk back out through the same door we went in. the line of fans has gotten longer, and when people notice the tiny girl with the big hair next to greg carrying a big ass camera and photo pass, it gets weird. 'WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE GET A PASS?! WHO IS THAT?! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHO THAT IS?! ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THAT IS?!' nah man, i'm nobody. please don't hurt me. haha. greg says good-bye and takes my notebook back on the bus, and i head back to the boardwalk, wishing i had eyes in the back of my head so i could fend off any potential attack. in complete and total honesty, i had never felt more intimidated in my life.
but while on the boardwalk, i run into dan, and kh's friend chris who does the filming for their tour video blogs and sleep never tv. i introduce myself, and chris zooms in on the laminate and starts screaming 'SHE'S WITH US!! SHE'S ONE OF US!!' i laugh and give him a thumbs up, and he asks if he can film me. why the fuck not. so he asks me, 'what does the boss mean to you??' well. i do this thing sometimes, where i speak without thinking, and said, 'bruce springsteen...isn't he shorter than i am??' chris and dan laughed so hard, and i was like ehhhhhhh, did you really film that?? he did. so i took dan's picture and mozied off for some food.
so i eat, then head back to the club because doors are opening in about half an hour. i make a point of walking up the entire line and heading in through the stage door, which really prolly wasn't a very good idea, considering everything, but what the hell haha. so i get in, i set up my shit, and wait. i get my merch early so they have my size and stuff, and then i meet some really nice people, who i'm staying in touch with for sure.
white tie affair comes on. they're good. innerparty system comes on. they're good too. the medic droid comes on. they're absolutely fantastic. then enters my friend the security guard...nicest one i've ever met. i ask him if i can get behind the barriers for kill hannah's set. he checks with the head guy, and he says i get the first three songs but then i have to back. so they do the intro, thennn three songs, and i'm out. but i can't get back to my spot next to me new friends in front of jonny, so i enlist the help of a larger boy, who drags me up front, directly in front of mat, my personal hero since 2002. it was a night i'll never forget. and when they played 'the chase,' mat brought the mic right down to me and we sang together during the slow part. it was wonderful. thank you.
after they play i go into the restricted zone and catch up with jonny, who waved me over and asked me how my interview went, and if i got any good pictures. we talked for a bit, i got a shot of him outside, then spoke to mat. i asked him if he liked my fill-it-in question and he said yes, and asked me if i read his answer yet. i said i hadn't. and he yelled at greg to not forget to give me back my notebook haha. i snapped a photo of him, then followed greg to the bus. dan and elias hadn't written in it yet, so he hunted dan down. it was a really nice thing for him to do, considering he was busy and i could have just as easily done it myself. then i caught an even busier elias for two minutes by the stage door.
it was a great night. i left with 600+ images on my camera, which i narrowed down to 300 or so, which i selected the best shots from and uploaded for everyone to check out.
the interview is going to be in our september issue. you should get yourself a copy when it comes out.
www.myspace.com/scenetrashpromotions
http://www.scenetrash.com/
http://www.killhannah.com/
www.myspace.com/killhannah
ALSO: for those who couldn't make it, here's the set list!!
intro
boys and girls
believer
love you to death
paper dolls
crazy angel
black poison blood
home
kennedy
songs that saved my life
the chase
acid rain
nerve gas
welcome to chicago, motherfucker
scream
lips like morphine
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